</div></div>
new day, new dawn - the slender dragon</div>( Fanfic no. 9 )

Disclaimer: Does not own GundamWing, Heero Yuy or Haro, or Chocobos

( Fanfic no. 8 )

I haven't felt myself smile like this in a long time. That...I don't care but I'm happy smile. The smile you make when a loved one is near and just beside you. The same smile you give as you gaze upon your newborn child. The same smile you show the sun as it kisses your face. The smile you just want to do...because you feel like it.

I hope this sudden smiling me at 9 in the evening is good news. I could use some good news right now.:)

Mara out~

In a post I made regarding my purchase and reading pleasure of Arnold Arre's Martial Law Babies, I focused more on the aspects of refusing to grow up in a world that wishes to grow eternal with it's workers wishing they never wished they grew up so fast. I read it again today, after being on my re-read list for weeks. I always re-read books, hoping that I would come across something I never saw on my initial read. Probably a character I missed, a concept I forgot, a memory reborn. Books are fragments of people's memories capture in print. All of them hold something dear to both the reader and the author.

They also make me cry. My 9/11 comic always makes me cry. I don't know those people, didn't even believe it when it happened and only watched it on the news, the only time I remember that Miriam brought out TVs in the cafeteria.

So I read the graphic novel again and a spark of emotion emerged.

My age then, high school, young, flourishing, discovering what I wanted to be, and planning my route to get there was a scary yet exciting feat. I never realized that the road I chose then would take me here, happy, content, loving boys I never thought I could touch and have a hand at shaping their future. I am proud that I can teach such wonderful leaders of our future.

Then I wonder, as I observe how they move, that these boys, at an early age, know the meaning of faithfulness. They share secrets with friends, hold a bond that even the teachers can't undo and despite far-away classrooms and age gaps, they make friends, forge ideals and make their parents proud. Faithfulness, not loyalty. I had a heart to heart talk with my ninong who came home from the states and stayed here for the past two weeks. Here's a man who comes home to his roots, basking in the light of old memories and family, but tells me that there is no such thing as loyalty, and that if a company were to lay me off, it will not matter of the loyalty I gave it for the past years of my service. I don't think it's called loyalty. I think it's called Faith.

The same faith that keeps me here in the Philippines, amidst corrupt government officials, capitalistic marketeers, realistic societies and dreary living conditions.  In the end of it all, we smile, thank god that we have a Philippines and move on, brushing up on history, avoiding our past mistakes and learning from them, making sure that we teach the young to reach their goals, but reminding them that in life we share what we have, and we can make it good by believing in God and honoring him for his works. It is faith in my country and in my people that I can stay here, and honor my homeland. I am Filipino.

A blogpost on being Filipino yet speaking in english? What are you playing at?

True, I speak English. Our food is Mcdo. Our malls are run by the Chinese and Spanish. Our cartoons are Japanese. But even as it is so, it does not stop us from being who we are as individuals, the blood that flows in us that enkindles us to speak up during elections, pick up a piece of trash or two on our streets, remind the jeepney driver that he owes us our change, to laugh at the entities of floods and school on a storm day. These things, these "only in the Philippines" things are what shape us to become Filipinos.

And you can't find those anywhere else in the world.

Aaaaah, now that it's Sunday, let me bask in the glory of a fulfilled weekend. I've been having a lot of do-nothing weekends wherein I spend more time looking for things to do outside of the house and creating things to do for the sake of using my weekend. This weekend though was all business and pleasure, all done with moderation and purpose. Here goes:

Friday
: Happy Independence Day! For all it's worth, I'm proud to be Pinoy.

:A thank you God moment: I began computing for my tuition for my enrollment the next day. I got the numbers from a friend and frowned as my computations left me with my tuition falling slightly under what was in my bank account. Luckily for me, I have a teacher's discount, which is one reason why I chose Ateneo in the first place. I would have enough for my tuition but not enough for GH. Resigned, I checked my payroll account, knowing that it was only the 12th and there was no way on earth that there would be anything new in my account. I was dead wrong. My sweldo came in early. Thank you God. Now I don't need to worry about my tuition and savings, and I can still go to GH.

: I needed to buy a few stuff over in GH and knowing that Poldo would be returning there for the Creative MUVO mp3 player(which he didn't. He bought Soundwave instead. I was supposed to get that! T_T), I texted him the night before and made arrangements. Apparently, there were other people who were itching to go to GH too. Their names are Karljoe and W. So there we were, four "Scouters" in a table in Le Ching restaurant, ordering Chinese and discussing "weeeeerk" and looking for ways to keep on laughing until the waiters shoo us away. We parted ways when  I needed to buy my Binyag gift and new shoes while the said two boys went to score some new Xbox games. Thank you Poldo for being gracious enough to accompany me through the jammie hunting and failed Shoe expedition. We trooped to Karljo's house afterwards for a round of Guitar hero and "Tunay na Lalake" qoutes. I left early to go to a family dinner. Ninong and Tita were leaving early the next day back for the states and since it was also my lola and lolo's wedding anniversary as well as said lolo's birthday, we had reason to celebrate.

:unforgettable moment: When Poldo asked why I didn't get jammies of my own and why not buy a boys pair with Hulk and power rangers rather than Tweety and Disney Princess. I said, when I have my own kid we'd have matching jammies.

Saturday
: I had to get up early to enroll for my MA classes. With the H1N1 scare over at the grade school and high school you'd think the college, being between both, would think their schedule over but no. Enrollment is as scheduled, and no ma'am there's no case of an infected student here. The face masks? We're just wearing it for safety precautions. Though I sat in an air-conditioned room, waiting around can be very boring. Good thing Onyx is also every dependable. A really long line awaited me over at the cashier which I managed to get through at 11:59. Perfect timing. As I lined up with one person in front of me for the cashier, some of the other booths were already closing for lunch. I breathed as sigh of relief as I heard the RegCom tell the person behind me, "Sir, last na kayo." I trooped to SM for my usual withdraw and deposit ritual for my funds and with enrollment out of the way, I can finally focus on that phone I've been eyeing. Unfortunately, it seems to be getting more expensive compared to a few months ago when the price was actually going down. I had my solo lunch over at Kenny Rogers and scoured Cyberzone for my beloved phone. Still there and good, there's still one store that is still selling it for below 10k. Paid my internet bill and headed home.

:Unforgettable moment: Had a craving for Shakey's in the main mall but saw that it was packed and there was a line to wait to be seated. Walked all the way to Cyberzone looking for the perfect place to eat and settled for Kenny. That's one way to starve yourself.XP

Sunday

:got up early to go to mass and to do binyag duties. I wasn't Ninang thankfully, and this was my first time attending a baptism as a tita rather than a cousin, sister, kababata. We spent an hour in church and another hour in Chowking where the meals were served quick and all, but no plates and drinks were served after we were done eating. I left after buying Halo Halo for parents.
: mom went and had the desktop reformatted. Big problem, now the monitor won't work. I need to get it fixed otherwise there goes my budget for a new phone.T_T

ah well, a fulfilling weekend indeed.

 

This year's retreat was held in Caleruega Batangas amidst the ever famous chapel on a hill where Kris got married to James. I think.

Did not see much...

Was so tempted to buy this bunny-esque hat with paw hand warmers

Ate at Roc's and had a DS party.

saw janina, cherry, elea, poldo, neph, john, carlo, tere, chepot, sei, ice, eco, vica, viktor...

ate isaw...

went to eastwood with josh, janina, cherry and poldo.

had dinner at dencio's

watched a capoeira thing

played drums

"never above you, never below you, just right beside you"

had an electric lemonade.

took janina home.

dropped poldo off

home.

good night.

didn't do much. home, eat, sleep for some two days. Except when I went to SM with my cousin for an arcade fix (AN: topped their parapara machine. o/ ) and drinks. and also...

met up with Paolo and Iona who went on the 12am saturday trip and were leaving on the 12 am sunday trip. trippy and slightly exhausting. was informed that they do this regularly while they go to the farm somewhere near ambuklao.

we had dinner in Cordillera coffee which i find out belongs to Iona's aunt. there's something cozy in eating hot meat in a mist of inasal backflow smoke. should really remember that when i put up a coffee shop.

They wanted to watch X-men origins and, apologies to poldo, i did.

no spoilers here. but it was a heck of a movie. Hugh Jackman really portrayed Wolverine like the savage (?) that he is.

Got home alone. my first time.

and of course card games and hamster tweaking. There are hamsters up there!

well, not like my other vacations this summer but it was nice too.

Picture of my Ormoc Mission with my Travel buddy Squishie.

I am naturally an aloof person, bordering on suplada and antipatika. That's the general impression of first timers when they meet me. Though I often get the surprised notions like "glad you're my friend" and "why don't you have a boyfriend?" that makes me think that my friends know more about me than I do.

Well here's one thing that I'm still muddling about in...coming face to face with the past.

I never really had success in that department. Take Lily and I. Our friendship never existed as to date and when the subject of her and coming face to face with her or talking to her on the phone is something that I dread happening. What do I do? What do I say? Do I act like I don't care? Should I be overly happy? I don't really know.

The same goes with W. What do I do? What do I say? Do I act like I don't care? Should I be overly happy?

In my la la land, I can face him with all the confidence that I naturally have. But here, in the world that beats and hurts...

I cannot. I can't even look at him.

I can talk naturally to the people around him though.

Of course, I'm wondering if people can really see right through me with this.

That I'm just a scared little girl afraid to be loved.

Yep, I need my affirmation pills again.

Alright here goes. and to answer your question, yes, it's almost Red moon day for me so shush.:P

I went out withdark_profanity  today to Ateneo for stuff. It was a quick matter so we were able to finish around 2 pm then head home.

I've been getting "the vibe" again since I left Bicol. It all began with

*car conversation involving a certain cousin who was being paired off with a relative's relative*

The conversation went, one of my cousins attended some gathering and one of the relatives of someone saw her and asked if she could come to the next day's Villa Escudero outing. They had balikbayans home. She went.

defense #1: I had work that day, so whether or not they invited I couldn't go.

Clincher: I have a far closer relation (1st cousin status compared to her 2nd cousin status) to the relative involved. Why was I pushed away?

*car conversation involving another cousin who, upon seeing her picture, gets a "ang ganda naman ng apo mo" comment*

defense #2: Beauty is only skin deep, as I constantly remind myself.

All that self-affirmation always works, but of course, I need a little boost from outside forces too you know.

that's why Poldo stays put as my shopping buddy! :P

anyway, in light of those two drama-worthy scenes, I ignored the rising feelings completely. then this afternoon, around 6pm...

*read a plurk and somewhat gets reminded of her own past.*

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel that my feelings, though insignificant to a lot of people, are not worthy of a cup of coffee, late night crying sessions and other things girl bonding is all about. I always ask my mom why people don't seem to think that my feelings matter or that I also want to feel that the world is giving me a hug. I feel that I'm alone with my problems.

She just says:

"That's because we know kaya mo yan."

But sometimes I also want to feel that I'm worth something.

I keep asking Poldo if what I am doing is right, because I notice that people who don' give a damn and screw life here and there seem to be getting ahead in life, ahead of me, considering I followed all the things needed to do to set the mood for a good/imperfect but happy life.

I keep thinking that somewhere down the line, I probably did something wrong and I'm clutching at straws just figuring out where.

Despite the constant  "you're doing good"s. Why does it not seem to be doing good?

Of course, I'm could be looking at a completely different aspect in life and choose to ignore all te rest, and as i write this, I recall all the other good things that do happen to me. It just escalates ten fold when red moon day draws near.

you're doing good mara. You're doing good.

Hey guys, here are pictures of My trip to Bicol during the holy week. I made a travel diary while I was there but it's in Chocobo-speak. Will scan it soon so you can see it. For now...

nuff said


( memememememe~! )

So anyway, I woke up early yesterday to get ready for the Ozine fest over at Megamall. Why I decided to go on a Sunday and not Sat was because there was a vtes demo game in which seedsop , thyalla , Louie and a few other meths would be joining. I poked Poldo awake and we were off.

Okay, so things to be mindful of when going to conventions in Megatrade hall.

1. Uber crowded hallways. Paparazzis and cosplayers really think the place is their own.
2. Crowded event area. Always a problem
3. You will always find this little oasis in the middle of chaos. Usually in the areas people aren't interested in. In this case, the demo CCG games area.
4. When friends with cosplayers (or costrippers, depending on your liking), you're usually to move when they're being asked for a picture by paparazzis.

So I got in there, the crowd wasn't that heavy yet, and headed towards the bazaar area where Poldo bought Gundam 00 season 2 and we oggled the Gundam models. I swear Wing,I will buy a master grade at 60/100 scale and I will show the world that yes, I has the ultimate Gundam prowess! wahahahaha!!!!!

erhm...anyway....

By the time we exited the bazaar area, the place was crowded. I had half a mind to bulldoze my way through, but nevermind. I kept texting and calling people I intended to meet, and sighting them on occassion.. First victi- er, friend to see...

1. magiqa - Girlfriend. In I don't even know what it's called things on her feet. (was it sweat something? Can't recall) who was with Jie, but I didn't see him on the first round.
2. then I saw dark_profanity in a witches outfit. Really funny thing that happened that involved larc en ciel cupcakes, a hat and four crazy Eivahs

*chepot eats cupcake. Hits Neph's hat by accident*

Chepot: my cupcake! (babies her cupcake)
Neph: My hat! (gets rid of icing on black hat)
Shin: my finger! (gets rid of icing on finger)
Mara: My eardrums! (places fingers in ear)

Poldo and I ate at Rai Rai ken and talked serious stuff which is what we normally do on those lull times.

I let arashi_tenkai  use my cards for training and she sorta got bled, really.

Poldo and I left early to get away from the red-eyed people and set up shop in Coffee bean where we continued our pow-wow

We ended up walking home and we spent another thirty minutes in front of my house talking.

I enjoy talking to him. He makes me realize that my life is fine.

Thanks dude.:)
 

Mission started at 1200 hours right after I had mass with the family. We went to Rockwell with the onset that this would be a day of gaming. Unfortunately, neither of us were at optimum efficiency (aka. running at half battery life) so we decided to replenish our power with a bit of sushi and wasabi. Now I know that the wasabi gets potent when left to simmer in a saucer of soysauce. XP

We trekked to Powerstation that happened to be hosting a Mushiking contest for the younglings. Poldo got the VIP card which has his picture plastered on one side of the card. I like powerstation cards because you just need to tap it onto the machine and it automatically starts, contrary to the swiping Timezone version.

Previous experience with Powerstation: they're not as up to date as Timezone, and most of their games are for the sole purpose of earning points for their redemption. They have one or two rhythm games, but not so many button smashing ones for do-nothing sessions.

Powerstation Rockwell: Place is big, but the line-up of games were old school, good news to retro gamers who are into street firghter and bubble trouble. I liked it that their Guitar freaks is at version 4 and still had Save a Little Something by Lichtenstein, and that rappers turntable game. I now know how to play it. XP

I felt sad for the air hockey game when a family of three boys and dad played and attempted to kill every other player in the area because of all the instances that the disc went flying off the board, and they slam the slammers really hard onto the table when they win. I feel sad for the table.

I personally didn't have a satisfying game session. I just basically went around, repeated some games and watched Poldo play. On the bright side, their tennis game works A-OK.

Powerstation Rockwell grade: 1/5
Suggestions: Change your game line-up PLEASE.

Powerstation trip FAIL.

On another note, we moved on to Cubao where Poldo was to show me Sputnik Comics. Finally, I was to visit what would be a very fun place.

But amidst the marshmallowy facade was a very sad fate.

CLOSED.

sad, but not defeated, we moved on to decide to eat some lunch-merienda-dinner and ended up in Pizza Hut. Talk and all over Pizza ans Pasta is always nice. I was informed by Poldo that amidst my group of friends I'm the super ego.

After lunch-merienda-dinner, we went dress shopping for my outfit for recognition day.

That was another FAIL.

I realized that I tend to like clothes that are never in style when i need them.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Mara out~

 

Disclamer: Owns Yin, friends own Shin and Kirsche, but not Gwing or David Cook
( Part six- Final )