Almond, Hazel and Macadamia's Chocobo Farm

Saturday schedule

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:30:55 GMT

Saturday, 5:50-6:30 am

-woke up to the sound of my phone alarm. groggily got out of bed despite Q's attempt to keep me in bed.
-took a shower, had a light breakfast, scoured the closet for a decent top to go with my jeans. Hear Q snoring in the bed.
- gets knock on door. chocobos are already up. ask if they can go to the morning market today
- shoos away chocobos and tells them to eat breakfast first
- Sora wakes up...and wakes everyone up with her crying
-takes care of Sora's needs before waking Q up
- grumpy Elliot complaining about having to wake up on a Saturday while Touga continues to snore peacefully. So used to being in his father's workplace.
- wake up Q, gave him a good smooching then handed over the baby
-left for work before he realizes I just left him to guard three chocobos, two boys, one girl, one baby, and a teenager
-texts Q: "Have a good day love!"

Saturday. 7:00-10:00 am
- gets to work and tries to chill out the whole day
- gets a text from Elliot: "Dad said to have a good day but he's still upset at your little escape that he told me to tell you instead.":)
- replies to Elliot: "Tell Dad I love him too.":P
- goes about with work
- gets a text from Queenie: "mom, can Touga and I snack on the cheese pretzels you've been saving for a rainy day? He said it reminds him of when his dad and he used to just sit on top of the gundam and watch the sunset"
- replies to Queenie: "what does that have to do with cheese sticks? :P Just don't forget to eat breakfast first okay? Love you"
- goes online to see Q on chat. annoys him. He doesn't reply
- types: Aww c'mon Q, you know just as bad as I do that I hate Weekend work. I just have to do it.:)
- he replies after a few minutes: "so what do you have planned for today". oooh evil scheme.:P
- we chat for the next ten minutes until he logs out, telling me that Sora wants to play in the garden with the chocobos

Saturday 10:00-12:00 nn
- eats lunch, goes about work
- calls home: finds out no one is home because everyone went to the weekend morning market. I was informed by the househelp that Q brought the red wagon so Sora could sit in it with the chocobos.
-household help also informs me that Rudy was still in bed.
- miscalls Rudy on his celphone. He picks up and I inform him that it's a beautiful day outside and that he should spend some time with his half-brother and sisters. He says okay
- doubting Rudy's answer, called him again. Groggy answer still. I tell him that I insist that he goes and joins his siblings at the pier for morning market day.
- calls Q after a few minutes: He tells me that Rudy just arrived and was already charming the matrons and some of the ladies in the pier. Q tells me that Queenie has now made a permanent latch onto his arm to ward off other girls. Touga and Elliot are snickering. Sora was asleep in the wagon.
- chocobos call, ask me if I want blue melon slushie or mango crepe. I chose both and they said, "you can't possibly finish all that in one sitting?" wanna bet?:P
-reminds Q to feed them lunch. He says Rashid already made reservations at the local hotel.

Saturday 12:00-3:00 pm
-finishing up with work, leaving in a while
-calls up home: Q informs me that Elliot and Touga have gone against Rudy and Queenie and the chocobos in a round of water bomb fight in the garden. They're competing on neutral territory and the biggest loser is whoever hits "dad's" prized garden statues.
- asks Q why he isn't joining them. He tells me that he just went up to put Sora to her nap, but I rang and now Sora heard my voice and won't lie down to drink her bottle.
- talk to Sora for a while, listened to her baby talk and gurgling about what she and ate and kuyas did in the town
- can here screaming in the background. Q told me that Touga just landed a big one on Queenie, and she doesn't look happy.
- I tell them to wait for me since time out wasn't so far away

Saturday 3:00-5:00pm
- went home, only to find out that the queenie-rudy tandem won while the two sulking boys were punished by giving their candy share to the chocobos (who strangely won too due to quick-drying powers). I went up to find all four children asleep.
- went into room to find Q reading a book with Sora sleeping beside him. Smiled and gave him a kiss
- checked on the chocobos. They left a muddy trail that sent the household help in a frenzy. The tracks led to their room where they were asleep with smiles on their beaks
- checked the chocobos room and saw new pictures from their trip to town this morning. one picture showed how Rudy tried fitting Almond into a fish's mouth.
- cleared the chocobo's toys then made sure that they were warm
- went back to the bedroom to find Q still reading.
- dressed up and snuggled into bed
- got up after a while to check on dinner and snacktime
- went back up to hear babbling done by Sora
- carried Sora and played with her. By the time she was tired, saw Q asleep on the bed
- the four kids woke up. sora and I joined them for snacktime and they told me about their game
- never did find my blue melon slushie and mango crepe.:P
- kids ask if they can camp out in the garden tonight. I call Rashid and ask him to prepare the tents.
- the three kids set up tent, use time to talk to Rudy and ask about his dad. Tells me that he's fine, still ruling over the underworld like always. says he can't wait for me to finish college so he could run the 'family business':P
- Q comes down and has snacks. He plays with Sora for a while and I check on the tents and the logistics of camping night.

Saturday, 5:00-7:00pm
- talks to Q while entering the main bedroom that the kids are planing camping night
- hear a rumbling in the other room, and a flurry of yellow feathers and the words "camping!!!!"
- finds three chocobos pitching their own tent beside the two big ones
- call the kids to early dinner, Sora was fast asleep again
- Asked Touga how his dad was doing. He says Olba is fine and he misses staying over with us. He says the base is boring and there are no kids there.
- Kids got ready for camp night. Q stayed with them and told them stories
- prepared cocoa and marshmallows to be eaten on the porch
- chocobos tried fitting in their bed which made me wonder how they were able to bring it down in the first place, considering it's a human sized sofa-bed.-_-;
- dressed Sora in a frog suit and brought her outside
- chocobos caught fireflies at dusk
- Rudy just sat by the porch and told me that he would never have felt this family together-ness if he didn't decide to stay with me while he finishes college.
- I tell him that despite me and his dad not together anymore, doesn't mean I don't welcome him, besides, Elliot and Queenie practically adore him.
-gave cocoa and marshmallow desert, Hazel finished five.
- Elliot asks Rudy if he can show him that magic trick he did with the red glowing ball.
-Rudy gives me that look and shows him a power that people of his kind have on his planet
- Queenie tucks into her tent and reads a book
- Touga and Elliot ask all sorts of boy questions to Rudy which he tries to answer, with some help from uncle Q.
- chocobos finish firefly hunting and just lie in the grass

Saturday, 7:00-9:00 pm
- Q, Sora and I enter the house after saying good night to the kids and the chocobos
- noise assures Q that he won't get to sleep at all tonight. I laugh
- put Sora in her crib
- take a shower
- read a book
- play PSP (Q and I switched handhelds because he wants to finish KH 358/2 days and I want to play Loco Roco)
- snuggle in bed
- go online

-good day gone

A lesson on Terrorism

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:07:37 GMT

There has been an increase in terroristic activities here in our city. Small explosions meant to scare rather than to harm people. Robberies, shoot-outs, theft, beheading, kidnapping...things the Philippines has learned to deal with.

I listened to the news about the recent small explosions in Ortigas, Commonwealth, Pasig and Katipunan. Crazy fireworks meant to impress and destroy public property. Fine.

The police said it was not meant as a terroristic act because there were no casualties and the damages were minimal, unlike major catastrophes like 9-11.

I disagree.

Terrorism. The root word is TERROR.

Are we saying that we should ignore these little mishaps because they haven't scarred any innocent lives? haven't petrified daily dwellers into holing themselves up in their homes forever?

Big or small, these incidents are done to instill FEAR and TERROR into the hearts of the people. These things are not jokes that we can brush off. They are things meant to catch attention, to gain popularity.

And to some people, they find scaring people cool, and do a copycat of things 'way more important than real life'.

As I keep on warning my students, I tell them "Don't run in the classroom". They refuse to listen, and in the end, someone goes home with a bruise on his forearm. Haven't we learned enough to see that this is a cycle of neverending pain? An Endless Waltz that is cliche yet true...and regrettably, nonstop.

It's sad that our young ones will grow up in a world where they know 'robbery', 'rape', 'terrorism' at ten years old. These aren't words they should be exposed to, yet in my short-lived life, I recall being exposed to this side of the world as well, when I was young.

People think that by scaring people the world will become a better place. Remember, we are 6 billion people and still growing. We cannot all bow down to the demands of one person holding a gun. We need to learn to listen and COEXIST. A skill we always forget.

THE WORLD CAME BEFORE ANY OF US, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR IT SPEAKING OUT AND CLAIMING AUTHORITY.

People discussions

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:08:51 GMT

I received a text from poldo one time that made me think that "why indeed can I handle those kinds of situations without breaking a sweat?"

We were discussing the issues we had among peers and workmates. and the question came up as to how I can handle awkward situations between myself and another person.

It happened ten years ago.

I had a best friend. We became friends because we were to outsiders in the school where fashion and boys were in and we were just happy catching grasshoppers in the field and singing nonsense songs at the top of our voices. She was the first true friend I had and I was happy that we met.

But for reason I do not know until now, come high school she stayed away. I will admit that I am a bit clingy to people so her absence made me wonder if I did anything wrong, someone please tell me so I can fix it.

Nobody did.

And now that I'm older, I realize that I didn't do anything wrong then. There was just something off there that nobody could explain.

What ticked me off that the fact that she stayed away from me, yet she would talk to my close circle of friends and skip me as if I was the bug on the table that is to be simply ignored and brushed off. I hated her ignorance, but my friends, wonderful people that they are, acknowledged my presence and made her feel that there is still someone who cares that I exist.

A lot of things happened between her and me, one being I told her to shut up during art club and she called me a bitch, and how people would tell her off when she butts into my conversation with other friends. That's when I knew that there's no pleasing her and if she wants to be that way then fine. You and I no longer have a friendship.

So when he asked as to how I can handle being in the same room as W, considering there were a lot of emotional baggages hanging in the air, I remember that old friend of mine and credit her 'relationship' for this strength of showing the world that hey, I can be just fine hanging out with you around. The question is: are you?

I do the same thing with other friends. Friends who seem to forget that you were friends when they make the people around you feel that you're under them when in fact you're equal and accomplish just the same amount of things considering I have a path whereas said friends seems to be still searching. I have a lot to say, but I don't say it. Let karma be your death.

There are different people in this world. Dealing with them is just one of those things you have to do.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:17:57 GMT

I watched that star in the sky for a long time.

Once long ago, I was a star myself, dancing in the sky along with many others, happy to shine down on those who could not be with us.

I met a star who shined very bright, and showed immense power.

I stayed with this star.

But the star, with the wonderful brilliant shine did not want to shine for others. It only wanted to keep its shine for itself.

And I left it.

I continued to shine, but not as bright as before. I left that star, knowing fully well that it was not by my choice, but by it, and I did not but fight was it said. I just let it happen.

I just let it leave.

I decided to stop being a star and lived like mortals do.

Gazing up at the stars and longing to become one of them.

Every night, I watch my star, who shines so bright yet only gives off a little of it for those of us below. I wondered if that star ever thought of shining for another star, just like it used to for me.

For years I watched that star, who stayed in its spot while the other stars came and went. I would wonder things about it, thinking if it changed, if it evolved, if it too is thinking of becoming like those who watch the stars.

I still watch to this day, but I don't look at it with the same awe and longing as before.

Now, it is just a star, just like millions out there.

I can still single it out in the black sky. But it no longer holds any meaning to me

Before, I would cry, regretting what I did. To make the choice. To allow it to leave.

But now I cry, because I lost that feeling.

And the feeling of emptiness is very cold and cruel.

Like the sky. It is kept company by the stars that do not but twinkle in it. Only a little light, just to entice the sky, but never to give in completely.

I too, feel the blackness. And once in a while I feel the twinkle of my star, my heart, but after a while, it will lose its light and become the sky once more.

The sky is lonely. And I hope the stars will realize how important their presence is to the black abyss and the people below.

The good and the bad of this rainy day

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:32:50 GMT

Today's adventure made me reflect on how life has unexpected surprises and that there are reasons for everything that happen.

This morning, I was originally scheduled to be in two places at the same time: a. ADMU for my MA, and b. CSQC for Saturday make-up classes.

At four in the morning, I get a text from one of my bosses, that classes were suspended in CSQC. I rush down to inform my mom and tell my drowsy brother to go back to bed because you're in luck, school was cancelled.

Which made me start wondering about my MA class.

MA classes are different from regular classes. They don't suspend despite weather or holidays because some classes, like the one I'm currently taking, only meet for five whole Saturdays. Missing a class would be very inconvenient and a lot won't be tackled for the day. And as written in my syllabus, classes are classes whatever day it is.

So I head out, and bless my parents, they offered to take me to school. They needed to get a little grocery done anyway so they decided to head out to bring me. That was 8 am. It was rainy and dark, but there was no traffic, no signs of flooding. It just looked like a really wet Saturday morning...or so I thought.

I wore my plueys, thinking it would just rain a teeny tiny bit then I would have to switch to flip-flops for the rest of the day. TOday turned out to be the ultimate test for my plueys.

They dropped me off, and told me to text so that they could wait for me in the event that the class suddenly gets cancelled. AGS was having their fair and the grounds were littered with families and little ones, braving the rain to enjoy in an otherwise damp school fair.

at 8:30 am, I was the only one there, until my professor entered and we began talking a bit. It's actually fun to get to know your professor. I forgot how fun it was to speak to someone you respect with a sense of equality and familiarity.

My classmates trickled in and voila, we were complete, sans one who was a non-credit participant. Our prof decided to pursue the class but I noticed she seemed distracted. The rain fell continuously and at 12 noon, we were allowed to go home. Four hours early, a good blessing.

I was already heading towards the gate when I bumped into Ahrren, a classmate of mine one summer who is currently a teaching assistant in the Educ department while she finishes some units. She asks if I was there for my advisement and I look at her and say "advisement ba today?" and she says "last day today."

On a normal day, I would have probably panicked and make rash decisions on my subjects next course, but I decided to check, ask if I could come back another day, and maybe find a good schedule to move around my Saturday work in CSQC. So I did.

I am currently thinking of taking a leave next semester because none of my preferred classes are available and the one class that I could take is scheduled too close to all my Sat classes, including Family day and the Christmas party. For all the diplomas in the world, no way am I ruining my boys Christmas party by being absent. Besides, that's the one day I can get a ton of gifts which I can brag about to everyone.:P

After passing by the office, I bumped into sakurabaka who just submitted a paper. I was supposed to meet her after my class to enjoy the fair but with the rain and all, I wasn't sure at that moment. I was already texting my parents and at that time, my understanding was that they were on their way home. I figured, since I was going to have to go home on my own anyway I could spend a little time with Cherry before I left. So we had a little lunch, and I walked with her back to AGS.

AGS was packed. It seemed that, instead of getting stuck in traffic, the families decided to stay and enjoy the fair. Which was actually a good choice which I will get into detail later. I entered Cherry's room to dry up a bit and began texting my parents. I understood wrong, apparently, they were heading back to get me because they got my text that I ended early. They were going to meet me in front of Ateneo in 10 minutes. I bid Cherry goodbye and was off.

And Cherry, I hope you and your family are okay.

I was told to meet them by the overpass fronting ADMU that led to Jollibee. I walked my way, not really minding that all around my plueys, the water gushed and cars stood still on either side of me. I was a pedestrian, and on occasions like this, I didn't mind that I didn't have a car. It was easier to find alternate means of getting to places since there was a jeep, with its cheap flat rate, the LRT that has no traffic, or simply walking. I was smiling like some sick bastard under that rain. MY only concern was the laptop in my backpack, but I was told it was waterproof, and I HOPED that it was.

When I got to the pedestrian gate, I blinked.

In front of me, which was usually a bumper to bumper case of exodus, was an empty Katipunan avenue....waist deep in sewer water.

I called my parents and told them they would never pass, and that MMDA opened the U-turn heading back to Libis. They told me to wait by the main gate, so with a heavy bag, I continued walking in the rain.

I didn't feel wet, mainly because I knew my feet were bone dry. It was just that I didn't want to end up playing Quasimodo in the next Hunchback of Notre Dame remake because of my bag. I still dream of seeing five feet!!!!

When I got out there, traffic stalled. I stood there, with the wind blowing water down my neck, and my umbrella attempting to free itself from my grasp, it wasn't the way I wanted to spend my Saturday morning. Or any morning for that matter. My phone, bless it's ticking heart, was still letting me make calls and my load was still clicking. I felt secure.

Now that I write this, I realize that God was with me all that time, because as I recall myself, and with what has happened now that it is dark, a lot of things could have happened, but God saw me through until we got home.

I called my parents and they told me to start walking up towards the flyover to meet them. At least I'd be dry, they said.

And that...would probably be the first and last time I will trek Katipunan avenue and live to tell the tale.

I found the car and got in.

I felt warm and secure. My parents were there and there was food in the trunk. We didn't need to worry if we ever got hungry.

Then I saw our gas level.

We always fill up with just enough for our rides, what with gas prices sky-rocketing every month. It worried me that we would never make any gas station at the rate we weren't moving. My dad would turn off the engine everytime we stopped, and turned it back on to move another five feet. We did that snake like trance for around an hour until we got to the u-turn and got to the opposite direction of Katipunan. We pulled the car to the side and began planning our route home. Most of the other cars would stop in front of Mcdo and park along Katipunan island (as in the middle island separating north and south bound) so the otherwise four laner was reduced to a two laner of empty cars.

We decided to take Aurora, knowing that there was a gas station nearby.

It wasn't smooth sailing as we thought.

The traffic moved at a snail's pace, and we entered the project 2 side streets. Gas was really low and I was worried that we might have stalled in the middle and create an even worse case of bad traffic than original. We only needed to turn left and the gas station would be in sight, but a big truck was in our way and...the engine stalled.

I was freaked out. my dad started it up and it clicked. He moved the car slowly to the side and we parked there for a while until we decided to trek to the gas station. At least there, there was a rest room, and a convenient store. We could wait the rain out there.

We stayed and talked for about an hour and watched the ebb and flow as the rain poured, stopped, traffic came and went, and more and more people came by, with folded pants, a ruined umbrella and a full bladder. We sat cozily in that shop.

The rain let up a bit, and the road was clear. My dad got the car and quickly brought it to the station, and we filled it up...to just enough.

After we ate, we headed on our way, taking the Cubao route. We passed EDSA and the smell of victory was near...or so we thought.

Right in front of Mayor Belmonte's house, just a few meters away from where we could turn...was the biggest swimming pool I saw today.

We ended up going back to EDSA and going via Kamuning. And it was smooth sailing from there.

We got home, a trip that began at 8 am, to 4pm, drenched, wet, tired, but home. It was as if I had a whole day class.

We unloaded the groceries, ate dinner, dried up, and now I am typing using Saiya, who is safe and dry (her sleeve is another story ), checking all the other techie gadgets in my bag and making sure they're all working properly, and drying out all my papers and readings. My Tranformers book is half-drenched, my papers, looking dog-eared as if they were five years old, and my bag the remnants of a battle of moisture and protection. It served me well, and I look forward to using it again.

As I sit here, warm, back to the comfort of my home, and I watch as people are still heading home at this hour on TV, I am glad that God showed us the paths we had to take, and the decisions we had to make,to get us safely home.

Here were the small miracles that happened today:

1. My brother, Miji, wanted to come originally. We all thought it would be just a trip to school and back. I was glad he didn't come, otherwise he would have been with us, and I wouldn't want him to get any wet, nor feel uncomfortable during the whole trip.

2. I originally was going home on my own, taking gate one to grab a cab heading out to Philcoa then Quezon Ave. Buti na lang I made those calls with my mom. It was a traffic there as anywhere else.

3. My bag, with all it's stuff, got wet. But the laptop was bone dry.

4. my phone was working the whole time I stood there in katipunan waiting for mom and dad. When I checked it this evening, it hung. I decided to turn it off. Now it won't even open. And I wonder, what if that happened in the middle of my phonecalls?

5. THe money I had in my wallet was just enough for a little lunch and gas. and we were both full and we got home with, just enough.

I actually wondered why I even went to school today, because I felt that all that traffic hulabaloo could have been avoided if I decided to stay home. But like the incident with the advisement, I just sighed and said.

Lord, I don't know why you made me and family experience what we just did today. I am thankful that you allowed them to pick me up. I know that you guided us safely home and that you helped us get gas at the right time, and turn to the right streets. You have showed me miracles today and I am glad that you are always there to watch over us. For now, please watch over everyone who are still out, especially the pedestrians who are caught in the rain, and for the people who are flooded,like Cherry. I know that this is a trial you are letting us face, and I know that you will help us through it. Thank you Lord for the miracles and blessing of this day.

and with that, I say good night.

Mara out~

A song for the little boy who went ahead...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:13:49 GMT

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I wonder - the slender dragon</div>

Cosplay Mania day

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:23:42 GMT

alright, a post in a long time...begin.

So, after months of not being able to attend cons because 1. I was out of town, 2. I had work or 3. I had school, I finally managed to fit in this one event in cramped and hot Megatrade hall.

Itwas a normal day for me, with a list of objectives that I aimed to meet for the day.

A. Meet up with Richie and let him take nice pictures
B. Watch Poldo play
C. See friends
D. LEAVE THE EVENT HALL BEARING NOTHING IN MY HANDS!!!!

I'm glade to say D went by nicely. XP Anyway...

When I got there, the place was still kinda...empty. Sure there were snakelines sprouting in some parts but you could still do somersaults in the place and not hit anyone so obviously majority of the expected attendees are still not in the event hall. I went about, hoping to catch a glimpse of a few people and true enough, I spied Poldo with a few of his band mates. In the middle of my jabber, four people in masks come up to me and stare me down. I looked in one of them and realized..."Ice?"

So there was this sentai group wreaking havoc in the hall at 11:30 in the morning. So much for a normal morning.:P

I decided to lurk around a bit more and took to seeing the cosplayers who were already gathering in the corner. I smiled and gave my internal comments and feedback as I waltzed through the floor, eyeing and guessing since I'm so old school I only know 10-20% of the characters they're portraying. But I know my western comics, so that joker in the far back is easy to spo-----WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

I walk to Poldo
"Dude, is it just me or is that...."
"Yep. That's him"
...

Pardon me while my brain does a temporary shut down.

So I continued lurking around, and met up with Richie. Richie is a friend of mine from way back. We went to summer camps together and well, we sort of bonded. Though I haven't seen him in 4 years, it was a treat to see him again.

He took a few pictures of Poldo's gig and we decided to have lunch.

Lo and behold, we bumped into project_eivah .

Ice was cosplaying as Talim of Soul Caliber and dark_profanity as Yowane Haku, vocaloid.

Insert mind numbing destruction courtesy of Eco and consider the day done.

Add in a little music, crowd, a little irritation from all the little ones thinking they own the place, and of course the competition...it was a good day..

I went home with Poldo and we talked a bit. Analyze that, so to speak.

Good day.

COMMENTS:
1. I was bone tired, meaning either my body needed to rest or I really had a great time
2. Aside from that joker incident (bless my heart, it still thumped even after my close encounter with him), cosplay is always a good thing to watch.
3. crowds are both good and bad. I don't think I need to explain this.
4. Friends are always a comforting sight

Thanks everyone for making that day fun and memorable

A strange gimmick night

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:27:13 GMT

I expected today to be a normal day, full of laughing and reminiscing and plain being young again. I was wrong.

To start of, I had to meet with datenshiaoi in ADMU for her inquiry. The blue-green bacteria is thinking of shifting schools. I had to get my homework anyway so it was okay. XP

We chilled in the Canteen and waited for sakurabaka to arrive for her lunch break and we discussed some serious stuff going on. We told Cherry that we would meet her in Trinoma after her class with magiqa and milk_monger . She said she will follow.

Renchan and I chilled in this lounge place and talked about stuff, things we already discussed before and wanted to dwell in and to share things about college that we weren't able to say because at that time we were so uber busy with everything else. We got a text from nesan and we met them in Coffee Bean and talked some more until Cherry came.

We needed those fruity alcoholic drinks, so Renchan suggested Italianni's for said drink and a round of pizza and pasta. We were laughing again after being stuffed and slightly drunk. and I start to think...

We're grown up now, no longer little kids worried about the next quiz or what mom will say when I ask if I could stay late in school tomorrow. We complained about work, life and how ours does not seem to be going our way. We have evolved from our happy lala-lifes into living in a world we don't want, yet have to exist in.

We don't forget our past though. Maybe that's why we can still smile even after our frustrations and purr against a friend's loving hand on your head.

I may be evil at times and I'm sorry. I may be uncaring at times, and I'm sorry. But I don't forget, and I love you all, and I will find a way to set things right. If all I can do is pray, then that's what I'll do, but I know in the end, our lala-lifes, with our gorgeous husbands and children a-plenty and melrose place-ish lifestyle will come soon, a little realistic, probably a little warped, but it will come.

We're all waiting here. We just have to wait patiently in line.:)

The music in my mp3 player and the corresponding scenario playing in my head STAGE 2

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:08:51 GMT

Italics mean I wrote this down in my first Stage post. I planned on putting an LJ cut but LJ is being mean right now and is ruining my post.

1. Lupin the 3rd OP
- no creativity. Still Lupin running away from Zenigata.:P

2. Midnight Crow-Kaikan Phrase/Aucifer
-Introduction of Wing and MIKEL as Preventers and how they go about dealing with double lives.
- yes It's still in my list. It wakes me up in the morning.:P

3. Love Together-Parappa the Rapper
-A psychedelic Project Eivah show. Neph plays a pianist in a rock band while i play a guitarist in a rythms and blues band. -My three chocobos are mainstays here. They love dancing and running about.

4. Stardust- Sound Horizon
-It starts with a Lady who got her heart broken by her current boyfriend (turns out he's gay.XP) and she extracts revenge. She recalls an old legend where the guardians of earth (taisa_ayase ) , wind (magiqa ), fire (Hell Akuma) and Water (datenshiaoi ), should they be awakened from their slumber in the amazon forest, would do the bidding of the said waker. So she goes on an expedition and finds the temple, awakening the four and unleashing them on the city where she and her boyfriend lives. Instead of just catching her current ex, she goes and wrangles up all her exes, a total of four.
    Her current ex, who has this hot young male thing as a new boyfriend, after the kidnap of his boyfriend, discovers the legend and sets out to find the temple. Unlike the girl who had bodyguards and a guide, he went alone, getting caught in the traps laid and almost drowning in a whirlpool. The whirlpool magically ends up in the main chamber, where, as he grasps for breath, does a figure loom in front of him. I look at him in my aviator glasses, trying to find out why he's here.
    Meanwhile, the four exes are about to be fried by the elements.
    I, grab hold of the young man and teleport to the location of the girl who took my friends.
    Upon my arrival, the four elements lay down their weapons and look at the girl, and as I close my fist, a bright light envelopes the girl and she disappears into thin air.
    I lead my friends out, leaving the men and two lovers behind. We disappear into the earth, the wind, the water, the sky, and I reach out my hand to a nearby Telephone, and circuitry envelope my hand, changing me into data, and entering the phone, and as my body slowly disappears, I remove my glasses to reveal the ciruits in my eyes. My elements is METAL.

AN: I really love how I made this one up. so classy and creative.

5. Growing Up-TF Galaxy Force OP
- basically, this is just an introduction of the Winner family, and our corresponding powers. Elliot is fire, Queenie is Water, Q and Sora are Wind and me, metal.

6. Asa to Yoru no Monogatari-Sound Horizon
- It's a creepy and morbid AMV.
- Preventer Five and I enter a dimensional hole that leads us to a war-stricken land. We fight this war with our other Preventers in Motorbikes. Preventer Alpha are included. I am the one who brings this dark land to light.

7. Everlasting Dream-Ayumi Hamazaki
- redundant
-oooh I love this one. It's a white wonderland of forests and mountains, and you see a knight all in black riding his horse through the forest. Up above a forest nymph flies high and as soon as she locks eyes with the knight, she descends, rushing into his arms as more sprites dance around them as the wind blows faster. the scene ends with a kiss.

8. Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi- Gundam 00 OP/Uverworld
- It's a Preventer AMV again. It talks about the relations that surrounds the five gundam pilots and MIKEL. Usually set on a balcony and what these people do early in the morning, from morning coffee, to DS playing, yoga, and guitar strumming.

9. O2- Code Geass Lelouch of the Rebellion/Orange Range
-I'm still working on it. ^^; It has something to do with Cybertron and how I'm the new autobot prime.

10. Hoshikuzu no Kawahimo- Sound Horizon
- I posted this here. Yes, one whole post just for this song.:P

11. Now or Never- Josh Groban
-still the same.
-He who must not be named, what did you expect?

12.Sunchyme-Dario G
-This is my feel happy song. no AMV yet.:P

13. Karma-Bump of Chicken
-none on this one either. I'm thinking more in the lines of introduction of the entire MIKKAELA gang, including newer members like kyokou_kuroda , sakurabaka , feitan etc.

14. Colors-Code Geass/Flow
-A day in the life of a Preventer. This starts early morning. Just think of Midnight Crow but on a different day with Preventer Alpha and mao_ni . This was made at the height of our short-lived love affair. XP

15. Echo Again-Katekyo Hitman Reborn ED/Splay
-This one talks about Preventer Alpha, a team of five men who were chosen to succeed the Gundam Pilots in the unlikely event of old age or death. This also includes special officer preventer mao_ni who will succeed me in the unlikely event of my passing. They inherited Five Gundams that were owned previously by MIKEL. On their first trial date, The Gundam Pilots were to assist them in their flying skills. This includes Olba Frost (Gundam X. Like I said, a cross-over of epic proportions) and his Gundam Virsago. There is an agreement with Preventer and the Federation which allows Frost to work in Preventer, while Wufei takes his place in the federation.
Anyway, Preventer Alpha are never able to get the Gundams into the air. The AI's of each of their Gundams refused point blank to let them operate the Gundams. The Gundam Pilots decided that the only way to get the AIs to let Preventer Alpha work them would be to get the original pilots to talk some "sense" into them. so they split up and talk the pilots to coming back. The five pilots are MIKEL.
Fei goes and searches for L in a hospital. Since he's also a doctor well.... cameo for Pao

taisa_ayase is currently having a class in college. She bumps into someone who helps her pick up her books. It is Tro. Cameo for Karl.

datenshiaoi runs for dear life as she spots Heero in her office building. He throws a book in the general area of her feet and she trips. cameo for PJ

magiqa gets an unexpected visitor in the office.And he brought flowers! who else?XP

as for me, I am walking my usual route towards the bus stop and in the distance someone watches me. In his mind, memories of the past emerge, the good the bad and the ugly. He is assigned to talk me into coming back to Preventer but he is cut off by mao_ni who got to me first. All five of us agreed.
We come back, talk some sense into our AIs but they just flip us into the cockpit and auto-pilot us into the sky. (we were standing in the gundam's hand). and as our gundams fly off, a hatch opens up from where the gundams last stood to reveal five shiny new Alpha team gundams.

AN: wahahahahaha!!!!! I love this one too! Epic crossover!!!!

16. Feel Good Inc-Gorillaz
- This is basically Duo singing, Tro on Bass, I on lead guitar, Fei on drums and Heero on acoustic guitar. The group sans Heero are in the dark part of town, all emo and stuff. when Heero walks by playing his acoustic, we leave Duo on by one to join him in the bright light. Until finally we become one band altogether. in the light side.

17. Endless Love-Two Mix
- Location is a circus tent, like the one Dumbo performs in. MIKEL are performing in the middle of the ring in ringmaster's outfits. GWing pilots are high up and as one MIKEL sings, her partner drops his top hat which she wears, and her black MIKEL ringmaster suit changes into the color of her partner's suit. BLue for Heero, Forest Green for Tro, Red for Fei, Black for Duo, White for Q.

18. Gara Gara Go!- Big Bang
-test flight of the new gundam synchronization system. The only three metallists, or the only elemental people who can manipulate metal (in short the avatar. there are only supposed to the two in a lifetime, but there are three.) take flight from the Preventer Base, with eight gundams in their wake. The eight gundams hold pieces of Gundam Firestorm, which is piloted by me, but I can always fly with my metallic wings. Heero and mao_ni take flight with their gundams following behind. like me, they can fly with metal wings. When they get closer, their gundams "form feet and leg (mao's gundam), arms and torso (heero's gundam)" and mine change form to make the head.

By this time you should realize my obsession over Gundam Wing Preventer Five? yes, I am still waiting for that sequel.XP

19.Hishoku no Sora-Shakugan no Shana/Mami Kawada
-Haven't made one for this yet. I'm still on the first half where it is actually the weekend for Preventer Five and their gfs but for a Gundam Pilot there is no such thing as a weekend.:P

20. Kiss in the Dark-Two-Mix
-Seriously. No idea yet.^^;

21.Jera-Edea
This has a bit of an EVERLASTING DREAM in it. I researched and found out that this song is sung using Ancient Runes so you can't translate it. And according to my Dragonology book, Ancient Runes was the language of the Dragons, so This is the song I sing, in once again, the hangar of the Preventer base, the one that overlooks the ocean, and as I sing it, four dragons come forth from the earth, the sea, the air and fire.

22. Don't Say Lazy-K-on ED/ Yoko Hikasa
-no idea as well.^^;
Freakishly long and detailed I know.which is why this is cropped and simplified. Hooray for lala-land!!!!!

Reflections of times gone

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:49:19 GMT

I've been cleaning out my closet lately, getting rid of clothes I don't wear and other bits and pieces that take up space. I am a bit of a monger so yeah, I keep a lot of stuff, from way way waaaaaay back.

I already disposed of My College stuff, and for some reason, after four years, it was easy to let go of them. Probably because there were things I wanted to forget that are associated to that time, or probably it didn't make any significant memory that would make me keep things I generally don't need.

This afternoon I tackled the small space in my cabinet where my old mangas are kept. These are mangas that are Chinese translated since that was a time when Japanese manga was a myth in this country and mangas were only 200pesos and can be bought in a book sale in my grocery store. I brought out an envelope that I knew held a lot of my drawings from high school. I guess it was time to get rid of them. I managed to throw all my Magnificat magazines, only saving articles, poems, pictures of MIKKAELA and pasting them in my slumbook. We looked so happy and carefree then.

I went through my old drawings, half wanting to shut it because I was embarrassed at the way my drawings were, and the contents of the speech balloon, like how datenshiaoi and I would fight over Mamoru Chiba of Sailor Moon and how even then, I saw my fascination with scars, blood and anything related to morbidity. I drew pictures of myself and my version of Mamoru or Sapphire, the evil brother of Prince Diamond in the Sailormoon R series. I know for a fact that until now, I have a son by ~~Mamoru~~ Sapphire and, inventing some sort of advanced space-time continuum in that planet, grew my son to 18 years old considering he was born ~~in my mind~~ some ten years ago.

I also saw a lot of Drawings that I ~~asked for/stole~~ borrowed from people, like KalQ who had this obsession with an unknown anime character she saw on a Chinese channel and thus called him DG, and taisa_ayase with her "It's called Love" Gwing fanfic which thus founded my lala-land of blond arabians, a house in the desert, and three adorable kids. This my friends, is called an obsession.

It's funny too that I started writing songs then. I realized now, part of who I am started in High School, and the other part in College. I'm currently forming the third part, and I hope these three parts can still work together to make me a happy me.

I smile when I remember, and as I throw some of the drawings away, I ask myself: "Is my throwing away of these papers mean I'm throwing away my past?" and I remember Meet the Robinsons: "Let go of the past and keep moving forward."

I can never get back to those carefree days and fanfic writing where the possibilities were endless and so were the phone conversations. but I also look forward to what I might find as I keep going. So far the ride is fine, and I don't see any reason why I need to stop.

I'm not throwing my past away. I'm keeping some, to remember, and I'm throwing away some, to make room for more stuff I might pick up along the way. I know you people who can read this are one of them.:)

How to make friends

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:53:58 GMT

Or in this case, how to find out where that girl got her lovely shoes

I watched HP6 with my brothers, as penance for my lack of sisterly duties lately and to keep mom at peace when my last movie outing was questioned somewhat. anyway, I reserved tickets in Trinoma, learning from the TF2 fiasco and left the leisure of lining up to other people. I can do that on a regular movie.

I got my tickets in the morning. It was a five pm show, but I needed to be in SM that morning anyway so I took the chance to get the tickets while waiting for my phone to be fixed. On my way to Trinoma, I passed the Imax floor and movie line. There in the line of the popcorn was this girl who wore the most darling set of Wellington Boots I have every seen. It was polka dot blue and black. It was an eye catcher really. I ignored, deciding that good for her, she has a nice probably made in US boots.

Trinoma, I got my tickets, returned to SM for my phone then went home.

Come movie time, around four, my brothers and I were in line at the popcorn stand where strike two! another lady with another pair of lovely boots. This time they were tear drop shaped in colors of pink, light green and powder blue. I couldn't help it, I asked her where she bought her boots. She directed me to a Pinoy-owned website and I've been drooling over the Pleuys eversince.

well, that's one way to shop

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 10:30:52 GMT

</div></div>
new day, new dawn - the slender dragon
</div>
Disclaimer: Does not own Gundam Wing or any names that are linked to it.

SUNSET

She eyed the orange semi-circle sinking slowly into the horizon. The setting sun, set upon the background of the infinite sky, casts its rays upon the dark blue of the ocean. Like fire the colors play against one another, dominating, casting, interfering, melding with one another. The sun was setting in the Sea.

She sat atop the grey building that sprang out of the mountainside, like a wolf in the woods. It sits proud, watching the sea, watching for danger that may fall. This was her home for now.

The building sits along the coastline, a watch tower that looks out towards the sea, as if it could ensnare the land any moment. This building was not for pleasure, nor could you say business.

The Preventer Headquarters

A haven of peace. It was created to protect the people from possible chaos and confusion. It was made to handle minor disputes before they became all hell broken loose, but personally, they don't believe that. Their motto speaks of peace and harmony, but the senior preventers have their own mantra that they like returning to from time to time.

"Humans made weapons, so as long as humans still exist, there will always be war"

She sat there, admiring the sunset as it played dancing lights before her eyes. She enjoyed those solitary moments up on the roof before she had to deal with the mayhem inside when she starts her shift. She heads the special weapons division and the night class would be starting in an hour. She would have to teach those greenhorns a thing or two about the special blings the Preventers craft for themselves.

She took a sip of her take out java. It melted her tongue and twitched as it flowed down her throat but showed no other sign of pain afterwards. She gazed out to the sea.

She sun had set completely, enveloping the sky and its surrounding with an eternal black.

The stars twinkled up high as she heard the hum of a motor running. In seconds, the compound head lights came on, illuminating the grounds. It rivaled the stars above, blinding the girl who sat on top of the roof.

She did not like the artificial brightness. The stars, though so far away and so minute, gave the light she needed. It shared the sky with space, and accompanied by silence. The ideal night.

But not in this place.

The day shift was leaving, and they were making too much noise as they boarded the shuttle bus that would bring them to the city. She chatted aimlessly, disturbing the peace of the night and irritating people who love to bask in the glory of the night.

Something Isora loved.

In the far reaches of her visible horizon, a spark of color exploded in the sky. It was succeeded by many more, followed by sounds of crackling and whistling.

Isora sighed. Of course, how could she forget. It was the Pyro fireworks festival in the city.

As she watched the fireworks, she pondered.

And in her heart says the words of life, and how fireworks wish to have such.

New year, new dawn

watch those fireworks high up in the sky
see them dance in the moonlit night
seeking, wanting what cannot be found
an endless answer to life

they flicker, pop, and die just as quick
as we turn our attention to another
they teach us something, a valuable gift
wish that you and i could notice it

just as the lights of fire die at night
so will our life one day
we will flicker, pop, and die just as quick
and we'll never see it coming

chorus

after the fire, there's a new dawn coming
slowly rising high in the sky
it brings light to the darkness, brings light to the fear
we will leave the emptiness (behind) and live

after the cold there's a new day coming
bringing joy to our life
it says: "listen, live, for life is so short"
keep on moving, keep on living

It's strange that man cannot see the emptiness of these wonders. Like life they wish to soar high, but that would be their last, and never again.

Such is life. A fleeting rush of energy. Catch it or you might end up touching only the edges of reality.

END

smiling

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:13:46 GMT

I haven't felt myself smile like this in a long time. That...I don't care but I'm happy smile. The smile you make when a loved one is near and just beside you. The same smile you give as you gaze upon your newborn child. The same smile you show the sun as it kisses your face. The smile you just want to do...because you feel like it.

I hope this sudden smiling me at 9 in the evening is good news. I could use some good news right now.:)

Mara out~

Filipino

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:50:57 GMT

In a post I made regarding my purchase and reading pleasure of Arnold Arre's Martial Law Babies, I focused more on the aspects of refusing to grow up in a world that wishes to grow eternal with it's workers wishing they never wished they grew up so fast. I read it again today, after being on my re-read list for weeks. I always re-read books, hoping that I would come across something I never saw on my initial read. Probably a character I missed, a concept I forgot, a memory reborn. Books are fragments of people's memories capture in print. All of them hold something dear to both the reader and the author.

They also make me cry. My 9/11 comic always makes me cry. I don't know those people, didn't even believe it when it happened and only watched it on the news, the only time I remember that Miriam brought out TVs in the cafeteria.

So I read the graphic novel again and a spark of emotion emerged.

My age then, high school, young, flourishing, discovering what I wanted to be, and planning my route to get there was a scary yet exciting feat. I never realized that the road I chose then would take me here, happy, content, loving boys I never thought I could touch and have a hand at shaping their future. I am proud that I can teach such wonderful leaders of our future.

Then I wonder, as I observe how they move, that these boys, at an early age, know the meaning of faithfulness. They share secrets with friends, hold a bond that even the teachers can't undo and despite far-away classrooms and age gaps, they make friends, forge ideals and make their parents proud. Faithfulness, not loyalty. I had a heart to heart talk with my ninong who came home from the states and stayed here for the past two weeks. Here's a man who comes home to his roots, basking in the light of old memories and family, but tells me that there is no such thing as loyalty, and that if a company were to lay me off, it will not matter of the loyalty I gave it for the past years of my service. I don't think it's called loyalty. I think it's called Faith.

The same faith that keeps me here in the Philippines, amidst corrupt government officials, capitalistic marketeers, realistic societies and dreary living conditions. In the end of it all, we smile, thank god that we have a Philippines and move on, brushing up on history, avoiding our past mistakes and learning from them, making sure that we teach the young to reach their goals, but reminding them that in life we share what we have, and we can make it good by believing in God and honoring him for his works. It is faith in my country and in my people that I can stay here, and honor my homeland. I am Filipino.

A blogpost on being Filipino yet speaking in english? What are you playing at?

True, I speak English. Our food is Mcdo. Our malls are run by the Chinese and Spanish. Our cartoons are Japanese. But even as it is so, it does not stop us from being who we are as individuals, the blood that flows in us that enkindles us to speak up during elections, pick up a piece of trash or two on our streets, remind the jeepney driver that he owes us our change, to laugh at the entities of floods and school on a storm day. These things, these "only in the Philippines" things are what shape us to become Filipinos.

And you can't find those anywhere else in the world.

a hectic and fulfilling weekend.

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 06:49:08 GMT

Aaaaah, now that it's Sunday, let me bask in the glory of a fulfilled weekend. I've been having a lot of do-nothing weekends wherein I spend more time looking for things to do outside of the house and creating things to do for the sake of using my weekend. This weekend though was all business and pleasure, all done with moderation and purpose. Here goes:

Friday
: Happy Independence Day! For all it's worth, I'm proud to be Pinoy.

:A thank you God moment: I began computing for my tuition for my enrollment the next day. I got the numbers from a friend and frowned as my computations left me with my tuition falling slightly under what was in my bank account. Luckily for me, I have a teacher's discount, which is one reason why I chose Ateneo in the first place. I would have enough for my tuition but not enough for GH. Resigned, I checked my payroll account, knowing that it was only the 12th and there was no way on earth that there would be anything new in my account. I was dead wrong. My sweldo came in early. Thank you God. Now I don't need to worry about my tuition and savings, and I can still go to GH.

: I needed to buy a few stuff over in GH and knowing that Poldo would be returning there for the Creative MUVO mp3 player(which he didn't. He bought Soundwave instead. I was supposed to get that! T_T), I texted him the night before and made arrangements. Apparently, there were other people who were itching to go to GH too. Their names are Karljoe and W. So there we were, four "Scouters" in a table in Le Ching restaurant, ordering Chinese and discussing "weeeeerk" and looking for ways to keep on laughing until the waiters shoo us away. We parted ways when I needed to buy my Binyag gift and new shoes while the said two boys went to score some new Xbox games. Thank you Poldo for being gracious enough to accompany me through the jammie hunting and failed Shoe expedition. We trooped to Karljo's house afterwards for a round of Guitar hero and "Tunay na Lalake" qoutes. I left early to go to a family dinner. Ninong and Tita were leaving early the next day back for the states and since it was also my lola and lolo's wedding anniversary as well as said lolo's birthday, we had reason to celebrate.

:unforgettable moment: When Poldo asked why I didn't get jammies of my own and why not buy a boys pair with Hulk and power rangers rather than Tweety and Disney Princess. I said, when I have my own kid we'd have matching jammies.

Saturday
: I had to get up early to enroll for my MA classes. With the H1N1 scare over at the grade school and high school you'd think the college, being between both, would think their schedule over but no. Enrollment is as scheduled, and no ma'am there's no case of an infected student here. The face masks? We're just wearing it for safety precautions. Though I sat in an air-conditioned room, waiting around can be very boring. Good thing Onyx is also every dependable. A really long line awaited me over at the cashier which I managed to get through at 11:59. Perfect timing. As I lined up with one person in front of me for the cashier, some of the other booths were already closing for lunch. I breathed as sigh of relief as I heard the RegCom tell the person behind me, "Sir, last na kayo." I trooped to SM for my usual withdraw and deposit ritual for my funds and with enrollment out of the way, I can finally focus on that phone I've been eyeing. Unfortunately, it seems to be getting more expensive compared to a few months ago when the price was actually going down. I had my solo lunch over at Kenny Rogers and scoured Cyberzone for my beloved phone. Still there and good, there's still one store that is still selling it for below 10k. Paid my internet bill and headed home.

:Unforgettable moment: Had a craving for Shakey's in the main mall but saw that it was packed and there was a line to wait to be seated. Walked all the way to Cyberzone looking for the perfect place to eat and settled for Kenny. That's one way to starve yourself.XP

Sunday

:got up early to go to mass and to do binyag duties. I wasn't Ninang thankfully, and this was my first time attending a baptism as a tita rather than a cousin, sister, kababata. We spent an hour in church and another hour in Chowking where the meals were served quick and all, but no plates and drinks were served after we were done eating. I left after buying Halo Halo for parents.
: mom went and had the desktop reformatted. Big problem, now the monitor won't work. I need to get it fixed otherwise there goes my budget for a new phone.T_T

ah well, a fulfilling weekend indeed.

pictures of Almond's 4th birthday

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 05:16:22 GMT

Hello! Almond here and I want to share with you the things I did when I turned four this year. I know it was weeks ago but nothing beats happy times than pictures!

Mommy had an "emergency" meeting with her old high school barkada, so we celebrated with them!

Here's me while waiting for dinner.

I'M NOT THE DINNER!!!! I'M SAD NOW. (That's auntie Kirsche and Auntie Isabelle in the background)

Ooooh! noodles for long life chocobo!!!!

I want already!!!!

Darn it, mommy said pose with Auntie Cherry first.

Yay! noodles for meeeeeee~

And of course, who can forget the Bicol trip and Hazel's friends.

Look at Hazel with her new friends!

That's it for now. See you soon!

Caleruega Sunburn with pictures

Wed, 27 May 2009 15:52:57 GMT

Retreat and home

Fri, 22 May 2009 08:59:52 GMT

This year's retreat was held in Caleruega Batangas amidst the ever famous chapel on a hill where Kris got married to James. I think.

Komikon

Sat, 16 May 2009 16:29:28 GMT

Did not see much...

Was so tempted to buy this bunny-esque hat with paw hand warmers

Ate at Roc's and had a DS party.

saw janina, cherry, elea, poldo, neph, john, carlo, tere, chepot, sei, ice, eco, vica, viktor...

ate isaw...

went to eastwood with josh, janina, cherry and poldo.

had dinner at dencio's

watched a capoeira thing

played drums

"never above you, never below you, just right beside you"

had an electric lemonade.

took janina home.

dropped poldo off

home.

good night.

Take a Breath

Fri, 15 May 2009 04:52:10 GMT

Disclaimer: Does not own GundamWing, Heero Yuy or Haro, or Chocobos

home...after work

There was a sound of running water in the house. It was accompanied by the sound of steam hissing and clopping sounds on wood.

Dinner.yum..

The sound of the running water continues. A sudden gush of sound escapes in one of the rooms. verbal reports of burning buildings and the senate's next bill approval ring across the vicinity.

The running water continues...

A metallic clunk begins to sound rhythmically around. It got louder, then softer, as if just passing by.

Then.... the silence was pierced but a high pitched scream.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Haro get out of the shower! I'm taking a bath dammit!" A female voice shouted, kicking the otherwise oblivious mechanical pet out of the wet room, grumbling profanities and how people in the house have no respect for privacy at all.

"Ouchies! Ouchies!" Haro replied, his orange finish shining against the cove lights in the ceiling. He turned to the direction of the kitchen where someone has just started cooking preparations.

"Heero-san! Heero-san! Lemme Help! Lemme Help!" His monotone voice informed, not asked, the prussian blue-eyed pilot who was trying to get dinner on the way. Heero was currently chopping carrots on the chopping board while he let a pot of water boil behind him.

"Don't let Haro near the fire niisan." The female voice echoed from the bathroom. "He might topple the pot to the floor."

Haro swirled to face the bathroom and wiggled his ears. "That's mean! That's mean! I wanna help! I wanna help!"

"The two of you be quiet or we'll end up with overcooked carrots and really bad tasting muck instead of chicken soup." Heero said, his powerful voice echoing in the small apartment they shared. The two decided to room together when Heero realized that if he we're to choose the other option, that would put him under the mercy and mouth of Duo Maxwell. He chose the lesser evil, knowing fully well that Isora doesn't ask too many questions and that she generally keeps to herself.

He was so dead wrong with his analysis.

"I can always call for pizza if that happens, but you'll have to split it with me. I can take care of myself, in case you're wandering. I'm not a hapless damsel in distress you idiot." Isora said in one breath, as she came into view. She was in a pair of black boy shorts and a white tank top with a volleyball print. Her hair was standing upward, thanks to her new haircut where her mother basically told the stylist to go punky. She loves it though. Shocked the people in her work place as a matter of fact.

"Do all the teachers in your school have such free-spirited ways?" Heero asked, as he proceeded to checking the water and added chicken stock that he found in the fridge. Isora walked towards the dining room and took a seat opposite the cook. There was a Preventer jacket hanging from it. She proceeded to placing her chin on her hands. "All the thunders liked it. Even my principal. Next time I'm dyeing my hair. THAT, would raise eyebrows." She smirked as she turned to reach for the Preventer jacket. She placed it on the table just as Heero turned to mind the pot.

"When will I get one of these bad boys?" She asked, caressing the patches and admiring the jacket that symbolizes hope and truth in a world so warped and treacherous. The wearer would be part of the Elite Preventer Corp. and qualifies as a peacekeeper and enforcer of the law.

"I told you. Zechs already has your name down since he entered the Preventer's. It's only a matter of you committing yourself to our line of work. The pay's good you know." He answered, taking a sip of the soup. He added a little salt.

"Thanks but no thanks. I'm happy with my 7-3 job, minor childish headaches and oodles of gifts during Christmas. I'm A-okay." She chirped, looking away. Heero said nothing and continued cooking. Isora turned the seat around and faced the living room.

"You think I'm avoiding it aren't you?" She said, still facing the living room. Heero pulled the pot off the burned and poured its contents into the serving dish. It splashed and sizzled as the liquid poured. "My opinion should not matter. It is your choice to stay in your place. Whatever makes you happy should be your priority." He answered, bringing the pot to the sink and washing it. He heard Isora sigh.

"I wish they shared the same sentiment. I always feel they're disappointed with me. At my choices, decisions. In the end, I feel I'm failing them." She turned back to face him, her face frowning over the subject in discussion. She rested her chin on her palm and watched Heero pack away the cooking utensils. She drew imaginary circles on the table with her finger.

when Heero was done, he sat down opposite her and leaned forward. His prussian blue eyes bore into hers. They shared the moment of silence and just listened...listened to what the other was not saying.

Time spent, Heero broked contact and began pouring soup into two bowls. He offered one to Isora who took it and they ate silently. They were quiet as they ate, and halfway through the soup...

"Don't let them dictate who you should love."

Isora almost choked on her soup and made gagging sounds as she reached for her glass of water. She gulped down the cold liquid and put it back on the table with a loud clack. She wheezed and looked at Heero, who had the tendency to break silence with very thought-provoking statements.

"Who told you it was anything like that?" She gasped, slowly calming down. Heero shrugged and took a spoonful of soup before he continued.

"You're obvious Isora. You're not exactly the type I would expect to keep to your silence should you be captured by the enemy and tortured into revealing our secrets. You're transparent, people know what you're thinking, and they know your feelings just by looking at you. You act as if you have no heart when in fact you're heart's so big that the emotions flood right out of you, sometimes wrecklessly. We are not blind. We know exactly what you are thinking."

Isora was shocked at his words, somewhat embarrassed that her fears have been exposed for all to see. Heero was indeed correct and she knew it. She was never afraid to talk about her feelings. And now, she realizes just how vulnerable she is in the eyes of the people around her.

She looked up at him and chuckled quietly. "Heh. That's one good reason why I shouldn't be part of the Preventers. I'll be a hindrance, not an asset. You said it, I'll be a scaredy cat and tell my enemies everything should that happen. An additional reason to add to all those that made me leave in the first place." She grabbed her bowl with both hands and gulped the soup down and licked her lips as she finished. She stood up from her chair.

"Thank you for dinner. I'll just be in my room." She said, her eyes glued to the floor as she walked towards the sink and washed her dishes. Heero remained seated and just sat there, not even touching his food as he waited for Isora to finish washing and he heard the click of her door as she closed it.

-----------

Isora closed the door of her room and leaned against it. Her gaze was on the floor, her fists curled in an effort to contain herself. She let her body slip downwards and sat down, back against the door. She drew her legs up and buried her face between it. No sound escaped her.

Rain began to fall and from beyond her room, the garden was a sea of splattering and haziness. One wall of her room was a sheet of glass, that allowed her to view the garden at her leisure. The drapes hung halfway, concealing part of her room, that was her sanctuary after a day's work.

The sound of the rain grew louder as the glass wall slid to the side and opened to reveal a small bundle the seemed to be walking in from the rain. From the bundle came two smaller bundles from behind it, the smallest closing the glass sliding door behind it. They were all clad in what looked like small sets of raincoats. They pulled their raincoats over to reveal three plump and yellow chocobos.

"It was a good thing we brought our raincoats, otherwise mommy would have to pick us up." The smallest squeaked, hanging his raincoat in a small coat hangar their size. His feathers are different from the other two, that had brighter yellow and more fluffier coats. He was a skinny chocobo, and barely four inches, but it spoke as if it was the oldest among them.

The biggest one, around a foot in height was helping the other small one with its coat. He hung both their raincoats and proceeded to ruffle its feathers. "Mommy did say the weather would be bad. I'm just glad it didn't flood, otherwise we'd be a bunch of floating chocobo on an umbrella." He squeaked as well, albeit in a lower tone than the former. He had a small bag around his neck.

When the third chocobo spoke, it would make your hairs stand. "I told you we shouldn't have taken Boulevard! We could have gotten home sooner!" She squeaked, in a pitch that could break glass. It held a small french fries plushie in its hand. She was around five inches in height.

The three chocobo turned and saw Isora hunched by the door. They ran towards her, the smallest and different looking one climbing onto her legs and peeking through to look at her.

"Mommy, are you okay?" He squeaked.

Isora raised her head and looked at the three chocobos in front of her. She smiled and reassured them. "I'm fine babies. I just had a bad day. Anyway, how was your trip to the town? Were you able to get anything?"

They began talking at the same time. Isora plugged her ears with her fingers and delegated the conversation arrangement. Lady's first.

"waha! me first!" The french fries chocobo squealed. It climbed up the girl's legs and sat as a child would to santa.

"Almond and Macmac wanted to go to the pier to see the boats come in, but I said we had to go to the market for some berries. We were able to buy some but we finished them on the way home. Then it started to rain. We walked through the park to get home. " Hazel chirped, looking up at Isora and awaiting her praise. Isora smiled at her.

"Sounds like a busy day. How about you guys, what happened when it started raining?" She directed her attention to the two male chocobos who took a seat on each side of her. They looked up at her with their beady eyes and smiled through their beaks.

They were her special ones, her children. For lack of any, she adopted the three and took them as her own. They even go to chocobo school. If that isn't love, then consider yourself heartless.

The smaller of the two held out a bag of seeds for the girl to get, which she picked up gently from his small feathery arms. She smiled in gratitude and listened as the two boys took turns telling her of their adventure.

The bigger one started.

"We went through the park and the rain started pouring"

"like really big drops you would never expect mommy, they were HUGE!"

"and Hazel started to shiver so I brought out the raincoats you told us to bring"

"they were really huge mommy, as big as my chocobo arms!"

"we hid under a shed while we wore our coats, then we started walking as soon as we were ready."

"Those drops were so big, they would have been a bath for me already."

"Then we came across the Moogles. Momo, Pree and Dulount were huddled under a giant umbrella and we talked for a while before we had to separate ways."

"And we also came across a giant mecha battling Godzilla!"

...
...
...

"Almond, I don't think that woud ever happen in our lifetime unless it's in the TV screen." Isora said, smiling while patting Almond's head. He did love to joke about. Just like his father.

"hehe. I thought you wouldn't notice." said Almond, climbing up Isora's legs and sitting astride Hazel, facing the lady. "Are you sure you're okay? You were all hunched up a while back."

Isora smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine babies. Don't worry about me. Now why don't you head for the kitchen? Uncle Heero cooked soup. I'm sure you'd like some."

Upon the word soup, the three chocobos scampered out the door and rushed to the kitchen, where they began arguing with a repeatingly redundant pet robot.

"Haro! Get off the big chair! That's mine!" Macmac bellowed, followed by the crashing of metal on the floor.

"Haro ouch! Haro ouch! Will get chocobos! Will get chocobos!"

Then came the kwehing and the poking and just as Isora made to close the door, muting the noise, Heero's fingers appeared on the edge.

Heero pushed the door back and entered. He closed it after him.

Isora ignored him and proceeded to her computer table, and sat in front of her laptop and typed into it as Heero leaned against the wall. They were silent for a few minutes until Isora got up and drew the shutters up and the rain let up. The sun beat down on the dew-laden garden and Isora looked forward to seeing the calm after a storm.

"I can't seem to find my calm after the storm." She said, referring to her life rather than the garden. Heero was silent.

She continued.

"I always feel that there is emptiness in my heart, and I would always blame that incident in my life. I don't like clinging to bad memories but I can't seem to shake it off my head. I think the reason it never leaves my mind is that I haven't learned from it yet. "

Heero's stoic features revealed nothing. He just stood there, still leaning against the wall.

"I feel there's a gap in my heart. A scar that doesn't seem to heal. The whole still exists, probably smaller than before, but it is still there. The demons in that whole mock me, spewing blasphemy and thoughts that I brush off and choose to ignore, but being human, succumb to it, thus the whole opens slightly. I am a curse." She scoffed at the last one, half believing, half denying.

Heero straightened himself and walked towards the girl still sitting in front of the laptop. He stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He gripped them.

"We all have secrets we wish to hide, and are exposed without our knowledge. We wish for the demons to go away but they don't. We want the world to go on as if nothing happened. But reality is sick. It leaves the marks we wish to erase, to forget. We all have a secret or a weakness we run away from. We just need to keep on running."

He hunched over her form and gazed into the monitor. I glowed white on their faces, not reflecting what were beings of fragile souls.

"Though we look as if the light is never in our sight, we know it's right there. We have to remind ourselves that things get better. Things aren't all that bad, and soon we will have to face our nightmares. But remember this..."

And in a very un-Heero move, he laced his arms slowly around her shoulders.

"...You are never alone."

He let go.

Heero walked out of the room. He closed the door with a dull click.

Isora stayed rooted to her spot, gazing into the screen that showed her blogsite. She blinked back the thoughts and feelings attempting to burst from within her, and took a breath. She shook her head, as if shaking away the fears and anxieties. She looked at the screen and smiled. She knew she alone could fix her ways. All she needed was a chance to blink, to take a breath.

And she took that breath.

One big inhale of strength.

One exhale of stress.

She got out of her chair and made her way to the door. She needed to be near people. She needed to be near people who will show her that the world is not tad and dreary, that it can be a wonderful place should she choose it.

Three chocobos, a metal Haro and a stoic roommate is more than enough.

She saw her reflection in the mirror. It still look beaten down and tired, but she knew it didn't matter. She just needed that break. She's ready for the battles again.

And she opened her door.

And she opened her heart.

The world is long and dreadful, and we are all but pieces in life.
Right now, I choose to be happy.
and that will set things right.

END

home from Baguio

Tue, 05 May 2009 01:21:31 GMT

didn't do much. home, eat, sleep for some two days. Except when I went to SM with my cousin for an arcade fix (AN: topped their parapara machine. o/ ) and drinks. and also...

met up with Paolo and Iona who went on the 12am saturday trip and were leaving on the 12 am sunday trip. trippy and slightly exhausting. was informed that they do this regularly while they go to the farm somewhere near ambuklao.

we had dinner in Cordillera coffee which i find out belongs to Iona's aunt. there's something cozy in eating hot meat in a mist of inasal backflow smoke. should really remember that when i put up a coffee shop.

They wanted to watch X-men origins and, apologies to poldo, i did.

no spoilers here. but it was a heck of a movie. Hugh Jackman really portrayed Wolverine like the savage (?) that he is.

Got home alone. my first time.

and of course card games and hamster tweaking. There are hamsters up there!

well, not like my other vacations this summer but it was nice too.

Ormoc Sunburn

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 08:40:34 GMT

Picture of my Ormoc Mission with my Travel buddy Squishie.

Something you probably don't know

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:08:15 GMT

I am naturally an aloof person, bordering on suplada and antipatika. That's the general impression of first timers when they meet me. Though I often get the surprised notions like "glad you're my friend" and "why don't you have a boyfriend?" that makes me think that my friends know more about me than I do.

Well here's one thing that I'm still muddling about in...coming face to face with the past.

I never really had success in that department. Take Lily and I. Our friendship never existed as to date and when the subject of her and coming face to face with her or talking to her on the phone is something that I dread happening. What do I do? What do I say? Do I act like I don't care? Should I be overly happy? I don't really know.

The same goes with W. What do I do? What do I say? Do I act like I don't care? Should I be overly happy?

In my la la land, I can face him with all the confidence that I naturally have. But here, in the world that beats and hurts...

I cannot. I can't even look at him.

I can talk naturally to the people around him though.

Of course, I'm wondering if people can really see right through me with this.

That I'm just a scared little girl afraid to be loved.

Yep, I need my affirmation pills again.

Arcade hopping mission number 3 + groceries + panic flipflop shopping

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 00:48:48 GMT

the text early, but the actual meet up time was a bit late, but I'm always an advocate of drop-of-a-hat moments.XP

Poldo and I went to Trinoma, which has already been rated slender-dragon.livejournal.com/84271.html (hmm, how do I cut that again??? XP), so there's no need to be redundant.

I waited in Coffee Bean where I saw Tanya nesan and a couple of her friends. There was a table behind me that was playing Magic cards. Why are they allowed to play while we cant? T_T

Poldo came late after buying his unmentionables annd at "lunch" while we chatted. Afterwards we went to the arcade.

Somewhere between the arcade my slipper broke. I was expecting it to do so but that was a really bad time. We trotted to the Department store where I bought myself a new pair of flipflops.

1. get flipflops-check

I also saw this darling pair of girly shoes that fit very snugly on my feet. I want it, if it weren't 1300.T_T

By this time, I was getting hungry. The weight of my bag was not helping and the fact that it was already 8pm. I treated myself to T-bone steak and basically fed myself. Note to self: trim down.

I went looking for board shorts (fail) and underwear (another fail). It really isn't a good time to shop for packed undies when your kasama is away with a ten foot pole.XP

Last would be groceries I needed to Ormoc. By this time the dept. store was closing on us and yes, the lights were slowly dying before my eyes. I only needed a few items so we got out of there lest I become one of those who get stranded in a mall kind of thing.

I guess I'm still recuperating from the Bicol trip. I'm still not up to speed. oh well, ganun talaga. XP

Time for me to think again.

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:17:49 GMT

Alright here goes. and to answer your question, yes, it's almost Red moon day for me so shush.:P

I went out with dark_profanity today to Ateneo for stuff. It was a quick matter so we were able to finish around 2 pm then head home.

I've been getting "the vibe" again since I left Bicol. It all began with

*car conversation involving a certain cousin who was being paired off with a relative's relative*

The conversation went, one of my cousins attended some gathering and one of the relatives of someone saw her and asked if she could come to the next day's Villa Escudero outing. They had balikbayans home. She went.

defense #1: I had work that day, so whether or not they invited I couldn't go.

Clincher: I have a far closer relation (1st cousin status compared to her 2nd cousin status) to the relative involved. Why was I pushed away?

*car conversation involving another cousin who, upon seeing her picture, gets a "ang ganda naman ng apo mo" comment*

defense #2: Beauty is only skin deep, as I constantly remind myself.

All that self-affirmation always works, but of course, I need a little boost from outside forces too you know.

that's why Poldo stays put as my shopping buddy! :P

anyway, in light of those two drama-worthy scenes, I ignored the rising feelings completely. then this afternoon, around 6pm...

*read a plurk and somewhat gets reminded of her own past.*

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel that my feelings, though insignificant to a lot of people, are not worthy of a cup of coffee, late night crying sessions and other things girl bonding is all about. I always ask my mom why people don't seem to think that my feelings matter or that I also want to feel that the world is giving me a hug. I feel that I'm alone with my problems.

She just says:

"That's because we know kaya mo yan."

But sometimes I also want to feel that I'm worth something.

I keep asking Poldo if what I am doing is right, because I notice that people who don' give a damn and screw life here and there seem to be getting ahead in life, ahead of me, considering I followed all the things needed to do to set the mood for a good/imperfect but happy life.

I keep thinking that somewhere down the line, I probably did something wrong and I'm clutching at straws just figuring out where.

Despite the constant "you're doing good"s. Why does it not seem to be doing good?

Of course, I'm could be looking at a completely different aspect in life and choose to ignore all te rest, and as i write this, I recall all the other good things that do happen to me. It just escalates ten fold when red moon day draws near.

you're doing good mara. You're doing good.