I've been cleaning out my closet lately, getting rid of clothes I don't wear and other bits and pieces that take up space. I am a bit of a monger so yeah, I keep a lot of stuff, from way way waaaaaay back.

I already disposed of My College stuff, and for some reason, after four years, it was easy to let go of them. Probably because there were things I wanted to forget that are associated to that time, or probably it didn't make any significant memory that would make me keep things I generally don't need.

This afternoon I tackled the small space in my cabinet where my old mangas are kept. These are mangas that are Chinese translated since that was a time when Japanese manga was a myth in this country and mangas were only 200pesos and can be bought in a book sale in my grocery store. I brought out an envelope that I knew held a lot of my drawings from high school. I guess it was time to get rid of them. I managed to throw all my Magnificat magazines, only saving articles, poems, pictures of MIKKAELA and pasting them in my slumbook. We looked so happy and carefree then.

I went through my old drawings, half wanting to shut it because I was embarrassed at the way my drawings were, and the contents of the speech balloon, like how datenshiaoi  and I would fight over Mamoru Chiba of Sailor Moon and how even then, I saw my fascination with scars, blood and anything related to morbidity. I drew pictures of myself and my version of Mamoru or Sapphire, the evil brother of Prince Diamond in the Sailormoon R series. I know for a fact that until now, I have a son by Mamoru Sapphire and, inventing some sort of advanced space-time continuum in that planet, grew my son to 18 years old considering he was born in my mind  some ten years ago.

I also saw a lot of Drawings that I asked for/stole borrowed from people, like KalQ who had this obsession with an unknown anime character she saw on a Chinese channel and thus called him DG, and taisa_ayase  with her "It's called Love" Gwing fanfic which thus founded my lala-land of blond arabians, a house in the desert, and three adorable kids. This my friends, is called an obsession.

It's funny too that I started writing songs then. I realized now, part of who I am started in High School, and the other part in College. I'm currently forming the third part, and I hope these three parts can still work together to make me a happy me.

I smile when I remember, and as I throw some of the drawings away, I ask myself: "Is my throwing away of these papers mean I'm throwing away my past?" and I remember Meet the Robinsons: "Let go of the past and keep moving forward."

I can never get back to those carefree days and fanfic writing where the possibilities were endless and so were the phone conversations. but I also look forward to what I might find as I keep going. So far the ride is fine, and I don't see any reason why I need to stop.

I'm not throwing my past away. I'm keeping some, to remember, and I'm throwing away some, to make room for more stuff I might pick up along the way. I know you people who can read this are one of them.:)

this song puts me to la la land. I'm telling ya. heard this song when i was a kid, but being a neophyte to the world one cannot find the song and even ask grown-ups what the song is coz one can remember the song perfectly but grown-ups (as we know now, being grown ups too) have an abysmal memory. 

Thanks to Shamrock, (am officially a fan now) I finally can set my soul at peace. me no like the acoustic version. me want the complete one with drums and whimsical sounds.


Am talking to sabs an old high school friend via YM and she's ranting over work and the labor day holiday that could have made a longer weekend. it's funny how when we were younger, we would complain over schoolwork, grades and adolescent issues. now we complain over work, the lack of, bills, expectations of parents, quarterlife crisis', what we want to do with our lives etc. as we evolve, we also mature (supposed to be XP) and we recall how events in our lives shaped us into who we are now.

kinda weird that really bad things that happened in my life actually made things simpler now as compared to if i didnt have these things slapped on my face during those "life-changing moments". coz when i listen to people bicker and whine over things,  i realized that because of past things, i can handle problems far better.

who knew?XP

Thank you God. 

Ouran High School Host Club...este, ehehehe

No, I was never part of a writer's club.Never had the nerve to sign up for one.

This afternoon, I was reading a comic script magiqa wrote that was supposed to be completed before any one of us left the high school *mumble's kyokou_kuroda under her breath*

Anyway, it made me remember things, things I couldn't believe I forgot about. 

and listen to this song while your at it. It will put you in a daze. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrVnh8OnubQ

We would meet right before classes, during recess, lunch, and after school if we're lucky to meet one another before the bus leaves. We were not too close, but we were not too detached that we didnt know each other's moods and what we had to do to evade certain conflict. We knew each other's secrets, each others quirk's and we would just give a pat on the back when things went too far. We would choose each other over our bully classmates and teachers. School wouldn't be complete without seeing them. Our ate's and lil sisters. We were a minority, and we had to stick together.

What also bonded us, was our writing. 

Yes, all of us wrote. We wrote stories. We wrote fanfics.

At first it started out as a game, pairing each other out to non-existent people who only knew war and love. Then it included warriors and killers. We made a dream come true during those short moments we shared.

During our break, each of us would bring a sketchpad/notebook/journal that we would pass around while eating. We would laugh, comment and imagine the next part as we read/ saw each other's soul, each other's dreams written or sketched in simple black. 

Literally speaking, we were open books to one another. We saw what each other was feeling over the parts of the story. stories and drawings of hate, hope, redemption, love.

And there was a lot of love.

Dori Mingu was the highlight of all our adventures. It talked about all of us. And who we were. I commend magiqa for a good job. 

Stepping out of High school didn't mean leaving all that behind. But I'm sure, If the end of the world came, and we all died, there would be a small group of girls named MIKKAEL who would sit there near the spiral staircase, near the bamboo area, on the fields, in a table under a gazebo near the cafeteria and share stories of love and hope, and be there for one another.

I salute you MIKKAEL.